Changeable.net

So.

Today has been a fabulous day.

Except,
when I say fabulous…

I mean the absolute opposite thereof.

F.T.S.

If I Fall If I Die Know I Lived It To The Fullest
If I Fall If I Die Know I Lived And Missed Some Bullets

I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness
And I Know Everything That Shines
Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold
I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It;
I’ll Be Good

Tomorrow is August 1st, aka the first day of the 2011-2012 work year! We won’t have students for (deep breath) 14 more days, but it’s time to kick things into high gear with the first meetings of the school year.

Even though I worked through most of the Summer, these past two weeks have been a wonderful vacation. Between a week in Mexico and a week lying horizontal on my bed, the floor, the couch (you get the picture), as well as prepping for a certain lady’s lovely bridal festivities, life has been just short of perfect!

I know that my purpose in life (or at least this season in life) is to be making my contributions toward education reform. I love the feeling of productivity. I love feeling (a little) stressed and pressured because I know I am working hard on something meaningful.

At the same time, I would love another two weeks off. As hard as it was for me to wrap my mind around the idea of spending a whole week around a pool, I loved it. As guilty as I felt for my hours spent lazing around, those hours were glorious. Most importantly? I love my family and friends! This has been SUCH a fun Summer. I know things will change once things get crazy at work, but I hope I can continue to have meaningful time with loved ones.

Here’s to hoping that my vision and drive are once again renewed this week… I’m going to need it!

Tomorrow I will be reunited with a keyboard (other than the iPhone I’m typing from tonight) Facebook? Twitter? Google+? Not the way I’m interested in spending my limited, precious time before starting work.
But give me a blank space to type on, a blank space where I can make some tiny bit of sense of everything going through my head, and I’ll be grand. Not saying I’ll be BLOGGING tons (though who knows?) but the wheels in my head will be turning and the blood in my heart will be pumping. I will right my world as I write my world.

Life is hard, life is happy, life is busy, life is confusing, life is beautiful.

4 engagements this week. Okay, fine… Of people I actually know? 3.

I think I’m past the point of getting envious, butt-hurt or upset. I’m at the point if just… Assuming.

I’m going to go ahead an assume that everybody currently in a relationship will be engaged before the clock strikes 2012. That way it’ll be a little less shocking, less of he whole wind-knocked-out-of-my-chest feeling.

Engagement is clearly not even a goal at this point. Going on a date is step 1. Scratch that. Finding someone dateable (not only in terms of me being interested in dating him, bit also in terms of him expressing that he wants to date me) is step 1.

Oh, single life. I don’t miss you.

Realistically, a slow night is a GOOD thing:
-I had one marathon of a weekend
-I had a 2 hour workout yesterday
-I had a 7am conference call today
-(and of course, normal work duties)

However, waking up at 8:30pm from a nap that I took out of boredom after 3 hours of TV is just… not an ideal way to spend my “me” time.

Options for next time I find myself by my lonesome:
1. Cook an amazing meal (This evening’s frozen TJ’s entree does not count)
2. Go to the gym (Yogaaaa Runningggg)
3. Clean up the disaster I call a bedroom (not just fall asleep in it)
4. Read a book (You’re an English teacher, dammit)!
5. Coffee shop! With said book (once upon a time, I was known for being a coffee shopping lady)
6. CHECK PHONE (because umm… tonight could have actually been a social evening; I missed out on Taco Tuesday because I did not hear my phone while in the middle of my pity party).

Solitude is good.
Solitude does not have to equal boredom.
Solitude should be productive (either emotionally or physically).
Otherwise, solitude is really just… sloth.
For how much we talk about the importance of “slowing down,” we don’t really talk enough about making something of the down time. I know, I know, it’s down time. Keyword: down. But really?!? Using that down time to work through something emotionally, to let something be worked through spiritually, and/or to check a task off your list sounds like the key to coming back rejuvenated.

Watching 4 episodes of a show I’ve seen countless times before (not GG, if you were wondering), sleeping in a messy room, and emerging from the house only to walk with my housemate to the corner taco shop to have her own taco tuesday is… not cutting it.

Staying in Long Beach tonight:

Got home from a movie wanting to brush teeth, wash face, and crash onto the couch.

Me: is dad in the shower?
Mom: oh… Yes. Yes. Yes, but… It’s ok, just go outside. What? I’m serious, it’s fine.
Me: …I just want to wash up, but REALLY?!? You’d promote me peeing IN THE YARD?!?
Mom: oh, don’t make a big deal out of this.
Me: you… need another bathroom.

In other news, Long Beach today was good for my soul.

Potential courses:
Gang Awareness and Behavior (if you know me well enough, you know that I’m slightly obsessed with gangs and learning about them)
Female Gangs (and the feminist inside of me cares about the girls as much as the boys)
The Universe Revolves Around ME!! Narcissism Inside and Outside the Classroom (bc narcissim plagues my class [and humanity])
Building Classroom Discipline (bc gang-bangers, narcissists, and gang-banging-narcissists make my days unreal)
Motivation & Maintaining a Positive Attitude in the Classroom (bc as you can see… I have a lot to deal with).
=15 units

Suddenly even more excited for the Summer. Here we go! Paying $1575 to make $1323 more a year… It’ll pay off. And I’m actually interested in all of these. Thank you, world, for cheaper (and more engaging) classes than what UCLA extension offers me.

The Strokes beat Manu Chao!

I mean,
PERU! Will happen this Summer (hopefully). Central America, I love you and will always love you. But I need to spread my wings, explore a little bit.

South America, I’m coming for YOU (and I’m bringing at least 2 people with me).

A shock that never gets easier to absorb:

The student who is handcuffed, arrested, and taken off to jail.

It sucks no matter what, but is especially stomach churning when when it’s the student you are so proud of for all of the growth they’ve accomplished. From straight F’s last year to straight A’s this year? Almost unheard of. I worry about how long it’ll take to bounce back again.