Changeable.net

When life blows, Hunger Games doesn’t.

(my tired body had to revert back to girl pushups today. Luckily audible came through to save my night from completely BLOWING)

I probably shouldn’t be this surprised at how easy it is to make sloppy joes.

This week was a hard one.

This is what I want to remember:
- Christmas Eve tamales, Christmas day pumpkin pancakes, Christmas evening buffet overlooking the harbor
- Movie nights with my parents
- The text-messages from a few friends to check in and make sure I’m okay
- Visiting with the Love family
- Knott’s, Nert’s, & The Holiday
- Waffles & Sherlock
- Seeing my LBFC family on Christmas
- The different ways that a few people came through for me
-

That green shirt is the one that he wore when (after a series of letters and telegrams) he first visited my mother and their relationship started.

This is what I want to forget:
-How sad, lonely, and forgotten I felt.
-The different ways I felt let down by others. People are human. I can forgive.
-How guilty and immature I felt for feeling so profoundly sad when I should be celebrating joyfully.

–

Tonight:

Another night, slips away
In other words, I should say
there are no words, you should say
there are no words.

1)

2)

The Kweller version captures my current emotion.

The Kweli version is just… a favorite, definitely a top 10 song of my life. One of the most flattering tributes I’ve ever heard of, and a reminder of a platonic, admiring love that I’ve rarely experienced.

What am I even saying anymore? Too many people this week took one look at me and said I’ve been looking down/tired/off as of late. My bad.

Well, here we go! One more week to go.

Occupy wall street?
It’s almost over?
That’s sad.
~SB

I’m in transit
Floating stranded on this boat
And I pledge myself allegiance
To a better night sleep at home

And the sweet, sweet sun’s comin’ down
Hard, the sun’s comin’ down
Hard, it burns the bones
So hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover
Hold a hand for cover from harm
-TT

This was a tremendously amazing weekend.

Fun halloween party. More cupcakes than a person should EVER eat in a 2 hour time period (I had at least 7 cupcakes, 1 snowball, and a ding dong). Photo-bombing as many pictures as possible. The craziest costume of my life. Laughing with my fellow pop-stars and embarrassing myself to a hilarious extent.

Leisurely NYC planning bfast at a great spot by my house. A stroll through a salvage garden, browsing at so many pretty vintage up-cycled items.

Finally caving in and buying a new tv and blu-ray. Catching some quality dad-time at the same time.

Mellow West LA bliss. Sawtelle Ramen, Abbot Kinney strolling, and indie music showcase.

Encouraging Sunday. New faces preaching, honored to participate in a loved one’s wedding, potluck, cute kids, and fun conversations after.

Now if only I could keep from confusing myself, life would be perf. My fickle nature is as unattractive as cupcakes stuffed in my mouth.

Thank you to everybody who shared a meal, a story, and/or a laugh this weekend.

That moment when you look at the clock after a 13hr work day, think of the pit in your stomach, and realize that the only calories you’ve consumed in the past 24 hrs were via the a.m.’s skinny vanilla latte.

I’m just plain tired.
And just plain overwhelmed.