Posted in June 2010 …

Jun 21 2010
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1st year, teaching

Doses of sunshine in my day

(after all, today is the summer solstice! happy sunshine-day, from someone who truly hates the sun!)

Moments today that had me bursting with happiness:

1. Students cheering and my name echoing off the walls of our tiny cafeteria, “Ms. Hamm! Ms. Hamm! Ms. Hamm! Jamon! Jamon! JAMON!!!!” when I walked up to give students awards at our tiny awards assembly today.

2. Students in one of my classes asking if they could give me a party for only the students in that class at lunch on Thursday, their treat (so what if they want an excuse to eat pizza?!? They’re paying and they’d rather hang out in my room than play soccer).

3. A student getting teary-eyed and crying when we said our goodbyes for the year. I had just handed her an essay prompt to do before she gets on a plane tonight to go to El Salvador for the Summer, for goodness sake. But I thanked her for being an amazing student and told her I loved having her in my class this year. And rather than bitterness for having to do a last minute essay exam, she hugs me and says she loved it too.

This last week of teaching is off to a magnificent start. Even though a lot of ish might will probably go down… it’s treasures like these that keep me going despite the days I want to crawl under my desk and hide.

Jun 08 2010
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College, getting old, grad school

saying goodbye

Staring out the window at Kerkhoff Coffee Shop, UCLA, 06/08/10

Staring out the window at Kerkhoff Coffee Shop, UCLA, 06/08/10

5 years ago, I came to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books at UCLA as a “fieldtrip” for the honors program at LBCC that I was in. I had never ever EVER considered coming to UCLA before this day (not to visit and not as a student), but I left convinced by my classmates that there was nothing to lose in applying to finish undergrad here.

This weekend, I am graduating from UCLA with my Masters in Education.

Words cannot express how overwhelmed I am that this is actually happening.

For my entire first year here, I walked around daily in awe of my surroundings… awe that I was allowed to study here, walk these halls, study under these professors, and call these hills my home. I was super insecure of my intelligence, questioning my right to be here almost daily. Whenever I walked around by myself, I was constantly just thinking both “why me?” and “thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus. thank you.”

I think I’m crazy that I needed to have an entire afternoon/evening here, but having taken off-campus classes this entire year, I really felt the need to get my favorite coffee, eat my favorite salad, walk through old halls, and just spend some time thinking.

Is the intensity of what I feel for this campus and this neighborhood different from what most others experience? Maybe. Coming here is the best decision I have ever made, and while that is partly for academic reasons, it extends some where more personal than that.

Some of my favorite memories are from here, along with some of my worst. My proudest moments and most shameful. Some of my closest friends… there is just no other place in this world that hold as many memories and as much of my heart as here. I actually grew up and became an adult at some point during these past 4 years.

I’m going to take my final walk through my favorite parts of campus in a few minutes. I know I’ll be back on Saturday for my graduation, which will be great in it’s own way… but I need some time to myself to just walk through.

Goodbye, UCLA.

Thank you, Jesus.

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