You know back in your early teens when young love was first forming? Maybe you didn’t experience it yourself, but surely, you knew of a few people who did find romance early on. How did you know it? BECAUSE YOU HEARD ALL ABOUT IT.
You know what I’m talking about, the girls who would talk for hours about what her boyfriend wore that day, what he said to her, how good his hair smells, how they’re TOTALLY going to get married, why she’s mad at him, how amazing he is, etc? They’d read you their AIM conversation to convey the true dynamics of the relationship… you get the picture.
No, I’m not really hating on the girls who did this, because if I’m honest, I probably talked off my own share of ears (or the eyes of livejournal readers) about past relationships; I guess it’s a process that most people have to go through at some point in life. You learn to not do that, eventually.
More and more, I’m realizing that my job is like a crazy demanding boyfriend, and that I’m the co-dependent girlfriend who can’t stop talking about him when we’re apart.
My job’s just about the only thing I talk about these days. Proof? Look at my blog entries since September. Almost every single one has to do with work. The ones that aren’t about work… still mention it! I can’t get through a conversation without telling a work anecdote–even if it’s just a quick one. It’s okay to an extent, but even I’m getting annoyed hearing about it.
The annoying factor is just the start of it though. See, the thing is that back when I was that annoying girlfriend… those relationships (or even just crushes) didn’t last. We’d break up, or I’d find a new crush… I’d move on. But I had this bad habit of allowing the infatuation to consume me, and I would lose myself in the relationship. I had to really figure out who I was after a “super serious” 2-month stint, because for the duration of the relationship, I lived, thought, and breathed that boy.
I’m not planning on “breaking-up” with work any time soon. We’re getting pretty serious. Yes, I want to continue living and breathing social justice education. But it scares me to think that in taking on the identity of Teacher, I’m losing my identity as Esther.
(But it’s okay, I’m working on it)
it went fine.
