yesterday i felt like crap.
i know that there are things that i am obligated to report, and that honestly… i should report, even if it wasn’t required.
a small part of me fears the system. fears what will happen after reporting, fears that a life will be made more miserable.
a small part of me selfishly wishes that just my listening is enough. that my words will be powerful enough. but i know they’re not.
still, the words, “you lied. i’m very angry. i’m going to leave now,” dug at me, however calmly they were spoken. did i betray confidence? will she be in trouble? will other people help her more than i can and love her more than i do?
but then this morning she came in. no she didn’t apologize, and no, i didn’t explain myself. we didn’t even talk about it. but she came in with 2 CDs.
“i brought some music for you to listen to…” and we played oldies love songs for 15 minutes.
and we’re okay.
i love that i’m someone they can talk to. someone who can listen without the judgment that the 14 year olds surrounding them will struggle to avoid. but man, it’s hard.
i need wisdom, i need discernment. i need endurance. resilience.
love.
