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Posted in November 2009 …
obligatory (but sincere) thankful musings
Fall 2006 and Fall 2009 have been very different from one another, in terms of who I saw on a daily basis, what I spent most of my time doing, the thoughts that occupied my mind… completely different places in life, though only three years apart.
But something that these seasons have in common, and that I am happy to be experiencing again is the constant thought in my mind of how grateful I am to be in my current situation. Thankful for many blessings.
In 2006, I was spending my first quarter at UCLA, and I was in awe of everything. Though I had not found my close-knit community of support yet, I knew I was in a great place and I could not believe that I was a part of it. The architecture, the professors, the “college-y” feel of potlucks and eating on the roof of our apartment… it was great. I was doubtful that I deserved to be there, but I would continue along until someone told me otherwise.
This year, I am once again just… amazed. Just as I believed that UCLA was the best place I could be at that time, I fully believe in Greendot, and am proud to be a part of one of their schools. In a year when jobs have been so scarce, especially in my field, I thank God that he provided not only some bottom of the chain job at a terrible high school, but an important position with a wonderful organization that serves an area of great need.
Between my job and my grad school, I do experience a lot of stress. Today, my headache from a hard work week has not subsided. And yet I am thankful for the stress. Because the stress means that I have been given the opportunity to educate and be educated, which is exactly what I want. I am very much still trying to figure it out, but I was chosen to be here and I am grateful, thank you, Jesus!
Going beyond work and school, I am grateful for other provisions:
-Moving to Long Beach, which includes:
-Opporunities to love and be loved by:
-All of the great fun I had this year, such as:
-The fact that my parents and I are going to load our food contributions into our car this evening and enjoy a good meal in Diamond Bar.
Okay now.
Well, what a week.
In a not good way!
Don’t get me wrong, 11/11 was amazingly wonderful.
But the rest of the week was so much work! Midterms were this week (and like a stupid person, I figured how can you give a test on creative writing? so I gave a big writing project which took ages to grade), grades were due for report cards, I had some terribly long days at work, and I spent my Friday night typing away But…
My desk is clean
Grades are submitted
My students kick butt (except the ones who kick my butt with all the crap they try to pull)
I finally finished my draft of my fall segment of my inquiry (the paper I’m doing instead of a thesis) for ucla
Which means…
Tomorrow I get to work on getting my bedroom looking the way I want it to, and more importantly,
I think I’m now allowed to admit out loud and to myself that I miss a lot of people.
I AM OFFICIALLY A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH THE FIRST YEAR. IT FLEW BY.
Just because it’s 11/11
and because I’m apparently 16…
On a separate note, today also marks 1.5 for Andrew and I!
(: Yay boo.
i can’t tell you how much
I REALLY WANT TO GO ON A TRIP.
SO BADLY.
Sucks to not be able to say when my next escape will actually be. Yes, there are thoughts for one, but I hope it actually happens.
To all of you who have been able to travel at all in the past 10 weeks or so… just know that I am absolutely jealous (to a ridiculous extent) and that you are terribly lucky.
continuing along
I am so tired.
I think I need to take Friday nights out of my social calendar and allow it to be a time for me to be calm and truly rest. The whole going out to blow off steam thing only makes me more tired in the end and makes my fun Saturdays unproductively tiresome rather than enjoyable. I’ll try it for a few weeks. Friday may be substituted for Saturday if planned events call for it.
But I am so gratefully blessed to be surrounded by people who know how to have a good time, people who love quality conversations, and people who I can just be silent with. I am even more blessed by the select few who know how to do all 3.
Loving November so far, just tired of feeling like I am failing at different aspects of life.
This week is expected to be… a lot of work (OH MAN DO I NEED TO CATCH UP ON GRAD SCHOOL), but also a good amount of rest (given my new Friday night rule), and a lot of love (1.5 on 11/11)!
colds and overcoats!
“The time has come for colds and overcoats.
We’re quiet on the ride,
we’re all just waiting to get home” -Brand New
Oh, NOVEMBER! The month that is my favorite! the month in which I begin to listen to Brand New non-stop because it just feels right…
Work, school, and personal life are all going awesome/terrible. When I step back and look at where I am in life, I am happy with many things, but it is just hard to actually appreciate life as it is happening, rather than being drained by it all. There are so many struggles and so many things to be grateful for.
Happy About:
-learning a lot at school and professional development–not a waste of time at all
-good work relationships
-a few good conversations I was able to get with friends
-LOTS of free books from calabasas library (rich people=good books!) and students being excited about them and saying I’m making them excited to read <3
-fun Friday/Halloween, getting to see a lot of people 
-1.5 mark is coming up soon with my man
-fruitful last few Sundays at church, anticipation for things to come
-completing my move to lb
Stressed by:
-hard situations at work (my own struggles, not against co-workers)
-1 person understanding my need to rest and giving me permission to
-having such a short fuse this week. why? i haven't been so irritable in years
-relationships in need of repair
-not enough time!
-considering UCI Summer M.A. in English program. Needing to take GRE very soon if I am going to do this. I am scared of being bored in the Summer.
But it's November. So it's all good.
