When we look back on previous bouts of anticipation that culminated in big moments (a memorable conversation, a packed day, a first kiss…) it is easy to laugh about the agonized excitement of not knowing how things would go or what would actually happen. Would it be a disaster, would it go perfectly as expected, would it be just what we needed, would it be better than we could have imagined? But then whatever the big event was, if we can look back on it and just laugh about the hours, minutes, and/or seconds leading up to it, it obviously went fine.
All of this is to say… that my current anticipation is killing me! I want to believe that I can trust it to not go horribly, and I think I mostly do believe that. Right now though, my fear of losing what I have is enough to shake all of my assurances. However, I am glad to have something to anticipate, and that ideally, it means things (eventually) better than they currently are.
And while things are far from perfect, I am still generally pleased. And the thought that it could be even better is a nice one.
But gaaaaaaaaah the nervous anticipation!
