Changeable.net

“Still, things could be much worse
natural disasters, on the evening news
things could be much worse
we’ve still got our health
my paycheck in the mail

I’m just an honest man
provide for me and mine
I give a check to tax deductible charity organazations
two weeks paid vacation, won’t heal the damage done
I need another one”

Breathe, process… forgive, let go.

No use holding a grudge; obviously plenty ahead of us to worry about without worrying about the fight. I need to stop waiting for a bigger apology, realize that I still have it better than most, and move on.

I can taste the fear.
Lift me up and take me out of here,
Don’t want to fight, don’t want to die,
Just want to hear you cry.

Been working for the church
While your life falls apart,
Singing hallelujah with the fear in your heart,
Every spark of friendship and love
Will die without a home.

~ A.F. – Intervention

This is where things start to get complicated.

It seemed simple enough to want my freedom; I passed the milestones… 16 came and went; I got my license, bought my car, was on my way. Then 18; I voted, purchased previous contrabands, got to dance. Now 21 is almost gone; I purchased again, danced again… I graduated, got in to grad school, decided not to move back home. By society’s standards I am adult. Being treated like one seemed like an obvious step that I thought I wanted. The struggle for independence has not been easy, but still seemed worth it. Now that those big strides have been made, I know more than ever that it is what I need.

But… I’m pretty sure I didn’t want to be brutally shaken awake to the way things really are.

Hear the solider groan, “We’ll go at it alone”