Finals week, Winter quarter, 2008.
My graduation in 13 weeks (including finals and spring break) is contingent on me not messing things up on my final tomorrow. I am dedicating today and the first part of tomorrow to studying, so it should all work out. Exciting, right? I am just not so sure anymore! I am finding out this week if I got into grad school here at UCLA, and even if I do get in (which I am beginning to think is more and more doubtful), I do not know if I want to give up my undergraduate life.
Last night was my Chorus concert. I have officially been in it for a year now, and I have continued to love it. Yes, I have complained about it plenty. Yes… there is the possibility that I did not attend every rehearsal like I was supposed to. But the rush of performing last night, even if it was semi-corny music… the split second of approval when you see your conductor flash a huge smile at the end of a piece before turning to the audience and taking a bow… yeah, it sounds stupid, but its amazing. We are going to China on Friday, and now that it is finally just a few days away, I am getting really excited for all of the performances. We are singing a piece from last quarter that is so beautiful, it makes me tear up whenever we sing it. I mean… I know that does not mean much coming from me… I did, after all, cry last year at the end of my British Literature survey series, haha. I can’t help it. Sometimes I just get hit in the face by what a privilege it is to be studying here. I mean honestly… how long did I study music before college? A total of about 9 years? And then I did not think about music for 2 years. And now here I am, going to Chorus, the more relaxed of the two choral groups… and I find myself understanding more about music than I ever have before. That’s something.
Having my parents and Monica come together to see the concert was such a treat… it takes me back to middle school and high school when they would come to my performances. Even though last night’s concert was a short one they drove out to see it and it meant a lot. And then after the second concert, hanging out with friends who came together to see me (and some other friends in the concert too, of course) was super fun. Everything was random but I don’t think I have laughed that hard in a long time.
So… new plan. Especially if grad school does not work out. Drop one of the classes that I need to graduate next quarter so that I have to stay longer. I can still walk in the graduation ceremony and do that whole thing, but then I will be guaranteed at least one more quarter of good instruction, choral music, football games, good friends, good times. …That would work, right? Sounds good to me.
Okay. Back to studying. Because failing a poetry class would just make me bitter about the whole college experience and that would suck.
