(I haven’t really proof-read this, it might not make sense, but I thought I would write a little while on break from studying)
My prioritizing over the past few days has definitely been a bit of a head scratcher… I wish that I could have made it to Catalina this weekend, out to Disneyland on Sunday, and/or Pumpkin Carving tonight, but it just was not able to happen. I spent a lot of time reading and catching up, and also took some time for fun (arguably too much, but in terms of time it was just the right amount of time away from studies), but I felt like my time was managed well. I got to catch up with two friends whom I haven’t gotten to talk to very much recently (whether in person or on the phone, I was able to go out twice and do all that is involved with that, I was able to follow through with a commitment to help out at a Kiddy Halloween carnival (which was pretty hilarious and fun as well!), was able to hang out afterward and eat lots of good food (and seafood!)…
The past 5 days or so have been quite eventful, I don’t think I was able to portray that very well in the paragraph above. I guess I am at a point of processing it all and you guys get to dig through my mental muck. Anyway, I had to skip out on a lot of activities, but I got to participate in my own crazy activities, and was still able to balance it out with my academic load.
And while there are a lot of things from the past few days that I am left trying to figure out, I am happy to see that I am confused about things that have happened, but not upset like last year that studying is all I could do and that I felt like I was digging myself into a deep hole academically. I feel like I really understand the material that is going to be on my midterms tomorrow. Like, I not only understand what I read, but I understand how it fits into the larger theme of the class, and even more importantly, I see how it fits into my major, and how it is important for me to be taking these classes. I feel like I am growing so much academically, and learning so much that transcends the classroom and is applicable in my life. I feel like I am getting a quality education. It is such a blessing.
Am I going to get straight A’s? Let’s face it, no… I am not really an A student here, and I am okay with that. Even if I do not give answers that are by the book, I am not only content to be learning things that are relevant outside of this school, I am estatic about it. Is it to say that my professors this year are better than those that I had last year? I don’t know. I definitely prefer my professors this quarter, I think that they are all very talented and very deserving of the positions that they are in. I think it is also a matter of personal growth. At this point last year, I was undergoing so many transitions… it was insane. This Summer, things were still a mess. Even a month ago, things were still different. I feel like right now I have gotten to a point of stability which is great. Yes, you learn a lot through change and through difficult times. But it is also nice to feel like you aren’t simply BSing your way through at least the academic aspect of life. And when you think of it, it makes sense that things are starting to tie together now, in my final undergrad year. After years of academic disjointedness, I am at peace.
Haha, now that I finally feel like I have an understanding for where I am at (I know what I like, I know what I need to change), I guess I should enjoy it, because after June, I will get to start the whole process all over again. That’s life for ya.
