Posted in April 2007

An end to [musical] arrogance!

Once upon a time, I basically thought I was as cool as they come because of the music I listened too. Ooooh yes, I had managed to avoid the boy-band era of a few years earlier (and thought highly of myself for this), but there was nothing to shield me from the pop-punk (you know. Simple Plan, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, etc etc) music of the early 2000′s. I was excited for each concert and looked down on those who did not listen to the same music, but… I was mean and did not want others (other than like… 4 of my friends) to listen to the same stuff. It was my music and I found it first, and if too many people liked it, I would have to stop liking it because clearly the band would have “sold out” at that point.

Pssh.

I am going to some concerts/shows! I am already going with at least one friend to all of these, but the more the merrier, I say! Come one come all!

Saturday 04/28 – The Walkmen – One of my absolute favorites, what more can I say?
Wednesday 05/23 – Hillsong United – Aussie worship (note the UNITED, it is better than normal Hillsong), should be lots of fun!
Saturday 06/02 – Manu Chao – Singing in English, Spanish, French, Catalan, Portuguese, and probably even more. Bound to be amazing.

All are in Los Angeles and all are general admission. Get a ticket and I will see you there!

Your redneck past.

Yeah. I definitely just BLASTED some old Ben Folds 5 from my computer on accident. How loud? Let’s just say that I had no trouble hearing my randomized playlist while I was in the shower half an hour ago.

Here’s the kicker: I’m at Powell Library. Night Powell to be specific. Aka, the most silence I have experienced since… well, ever.

Oh dear.

Probably the same effect anyway.

This morning I dragged myself out of bed in hopes of going to my Guts, Butts, and Thighs class for the first time in over a month. I got there like three minutes late and poked my head in the door, but the class was SO full! I was intimidated by the lack of floor space so let the door fall shut and walked away.

I walked through the gym considering my other fitness options, but I saw some people who I sort of know and got self-conscious about the idea of working out there. I thought about going for a run outdoors, but then I got scared of skin cancer.

I decided to call it a day as far as working out goes, walked to a coffee shop that I used to work at but left on somewhat bad terms, awkwardly avoided the manager, a supervisor, and two former co-workers, got coffee and a doughnut, and figured it was a morning well spent.

Feeling glad…

Back in fifth grade, one of the music teachers at my school came to my class and decided to give all of the students auditions to see who was good enough to join her chorus. She auditioned us in pairs and had us sing “Happy Birthday” as our audition piece. But we were singing “happy birthday dear Mickey Mouse,” and well… I found it pretty funny. I basically laughed the whole time she was playing it and she sort of looked at me funny, thanked me (I mean… we were all pulled out of class for this, right? It’s not like I made an effort to come in, haha), and sent me on my way. I did not get the little asterisk next to my name saying that I was wanted in her chorus. I decided to play the violin and that was that, I did it until I was 18. To be sure, I had fun in Orchestra, but I always figured that singing, at least in a formal atmosphere, was not something for me.

A few minutes ago I added the Chorus here at school to my class schedule. Pretty random, I must say. I started going yesterday and it was fun… I had no idea what I was doing during warm ups and I did have to hold back my laughter a few times, but I was mostly able to keep a straight face. I at least know how to read music, but I have never done it with my voice as an instrument, so it was an interesting experience. I had a quick audition at the end of class, and I was instantly relieved when I was not asked to sing songs about Disney characters, because we all know that my affection for Mickey Mouse and his gang has only increased in the past year; I definitely would have found it to be overly amusing. Instead I just had to sing some scales along with the Piano. I know that it was not a hard audition or anything like that, but it still made me happy when she smiled at the end and said “Okay! Good, so you’ll be an Alto!”Oh, and the best part? I GET PIE. Haha, since Kimberly, my roommate recruited me, we each get a fancy Marie Calendar’s pie. And we definitely coordinated it in such a way that we will have two tasty pies at the same time in our apartment. How exciting!

I think I am a bit more happy than I need to be about this, but honestly, it is my first time taking a “just for fun” class in a long long time. I mean, I love my English classes a lot, but college is about learning all sorts of things, right? It has been exciting to be taking a music class for the first time in over two years and to see music in a different light because of it. I am happy that my days of plowing through my G.E.’s so that I could transfer here are over, but I am also glad to not ONLY have to focus in on my major. It is nice to mix it up a bit.

So… I am dropping one of my English classes, along with the 7 (out of 25 total for all of my classes) books that I would have been required to read over the next 8 weeks. No worries, unlike last quarter, I will still be a full time student!

Other good bits: I am enjoying my job, I am enjoying my friendships, and I went Salsa Dancing last night.

Risen indeed!

This past week was somewhat of a hard one. Despite having a wonderful Spring Break (I did not get dumped or violently ill, so I automatically liked it better than my previous two Spring Breaks), I found myself longing for just a few more days of rest. I guess that this is not too surprising of an emotion to feel after only a week off of school, but I really let the stress of a new quarter get to me. Even though I had a great gift in that week off from school (thank you everybody who made the week so great!) I found myself battling anxiety in my job, my classes, my apartment, my family and my friendships… while none of these are my primary source of joy, they are things that would normally tend to brighten my day.

Friday, after a week of fighting for control over all of these situations in my life, I finally began to surrender my pride in thinking that I could handle everything on my own…and as the pride began to fall away, so did the unnecessary stress. The struggle however… is not over. I mean, I had been feeling a bit guilty for not really reflecting on the incredible significance of Good Friday, and I admit that I tried to force emotion into it. I ended up more frustrated and feeling even more guilty, and then I was hit with the realization of how quickly I was trying to gain control of my life again. Christ died (at least in part) so that I could be free of all of this, so that I could surrender control over my life, and… there I was, trying to control how I felt about his act of love. I am not completely over this, but at least I know what I need to be careful of and focus on this for the next few weeks.

After that sort of crash-and-burn-realization-filled Friday afternoon… I was happy.

I woke up on Saturday to my mom giving me a kiss on the cheek. But I was not home! I actually went over to Julie’s house on Friday night, and (after watching a cute movie with some other lovely ladies) we were able to do some much needed catching up… and we caught up right up until 6am when I fell asleep there. My mom and Julie’s mom have become friends and were meeting up for breakfast (so cute!), so our moms snuck into the bedroom to check in on us. Then they tiptoed down the hall saying “they look like angels!” in their Tagalog and Spanish accents and giggling like two little girls! We were both half asleep and totally embarrassed, but it was a nice start to the day.

Then last night I went up to Santa Barbara with my parents. We spent the night crammed into a motel room along with my brother who met us there, but it was completely worth it. This morning, after a sunrise service on the beach, my brother was baptized. Though the physical act of baptism is not something traditionally done in the church I grew up in, I was so excited for my brother. Finally he has found an environment in which he feels free to worship God. And finally it was a place that my family felt at peace for him to be in. I am excited for the relief from past tensions in terms of spirituality. The day was a good one, spent with our family and his girlfriend’s family. As Daniel said earlier today, “Everybody is happy. It took 2 years for this.” At first I did not understand him, but after reflecting on it more and hearing my parents vocalize their support… I now understand. And let me say that seeing him come up out of the ocean with his pastor as a a wave was rolling in behind them and the sun was peeking out from the cloudy sky… it left a good lasting impression, and I do not think I will ever forget that.

Happy Easter!

“My heart is alive and my spirit is free, in the Savior who gave is life for me.”

The greatest love of all…

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I’m a sinful one
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I’m your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

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