Not sure if this will be interesting to anybody, but… here is what is up in my life, thought I would share.
Interest 1: Recently I have gained an interest in teaching again. For a while I was pretty sure that this would absolutely not be what I did, but it was for a stupid reason– I knew too many teachers and I wanted to do my own thing. However… I do not know any English teachers, so I guess I would still be doing my own thing. I would love to go to the Graduate School of Education here at UCLA, it has a cool program that sounds right up my alley.
Struggle 1: I am not sure if I could get into that school here. Or any grad school for that matter. My GPA has FALLEN for sure since I transferred. And… all I have been taking are English classes. How can I teach a subject that I am apparently sucking in? Granted it would be at a middle school (most likely) or high school (maybe.) level so it’s not like I need all of those crazy analytical skills that I am lacking right now, but basically… School is hard right now. I seem to think that I am doing a good job, and yet I have failed to recieve an A on any essays or papers since I started here. Yes, there have been some high scores on a few quizzes and short assignments but those hardly count for anything anyway. Boo.
Interest 2: I have been trying to get more involved with my church in Long Beach and to have a bigger role in the positive changes that are taking place.
Struggle 2: I live in Los Angeles and I am still trying to adjust to my two lives.
Interest 3: I want to be more involved in Intervarsity and the other good things going on here on campus
Struggle 3: I am too connected to Long Beach and am not around nearly enough.
Interest 4: I really like my job a lot. It is convenient, it forces me to get work done, it pays well, I can work a lot of hours, I like this whole Class B license business, and the whole learning how to parallel park a 16 passenger van thing.
Struggle 4: If I was not working so much, maybe I would have more time for various ministry options, my writing/grad school prep, etc. But then I would not have money which I need in order to keep up with Rent etc.
Interest 5: I might be moving to a new apartment next year and am thinking over different roommate/apartment options. There are a couple apartments that I could live in which are still within walking distance of the school, and these apartments all involve cool people whom I would be happy to live with. These apartments are also between $100-$300 cheaper per month.
Struggle 5: I love my roommate, Kimberly (the other roommates are amazing too, but they are not going to be living in this apartment next year) and would be sad to leave her. I also love living so close to school because it enables me to come home during the day and sleep in for a few minutes longer. It certainly is not cheap to live here…
So… yes. Things are not necessarily bad right now; there are actually a lot of good things going on. I am just split in all of my decisions and feel a new wave of fickleness coming about.
Sorry I did not respond to your last post. It was considerate. This is my first time on blogs since I last posted and really it is just to make a 2 minute message and some notes to myself.