Changeable.net

1. You are jolted out of peaceful slumber by the unoriginal “Cingular Tone.” Your friend has accidentally dialed your number at 4:45am (her phone was on her bed, keybad unlocked, and she sleeps funny), and you reject the call (you are half asleep and not even sure of what you are doing anyway). Three minutes later, your phone goes off with an obscenely loud and incredibly annoying noise letting you know that you have just recieved a voicemail. The only good thing is that you sleep lightly until 7:00am, at which point you wake up and watch Dangerous Minds on cable. You really love this movie and have not seen it in a while. Still, you decide, finding an excuse to listen to Coolio does not make the phone call any less annoying. This was yesterday morning.

2. You are used to waking up to the sound of your television, you do this because you do not have a clock radio. On this particular morning, however, your television turns on very loudly at 4:00am, and a horror movie is playing. At first you wonder why your dream has suddenly turned into a confusing nightmare with people screaming. Then you wake up, see Owen Wilson (Is it O.W. appreciation month or something?!?) freaking out on television, remember how much you hate scary movies, and are traumatized that you have been woken up by the most disturbing scene in The Haunting. No, it is not the scariest movie ever, but it still freaks you out, and nobody wants to wake up to the sound of little ghost children yelling “WELCOME HOME ELEANOR! ELEANOR! ELEANOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” This was today.

I am guessing that tomorrow morning at 5:53AM some neighborhood kid is going to decide to put on his own fireworks show, and I will be able to enjoy a third morning of waking up before the Sun, without having had an adequate amount of sleep the night before. And given my intellect (and also based on recent experiences), I will get confused and think that it is a real loud thunderstorm happening in the middle of an earthquake.