Changeable.net

A comment I recieved from my friend Jessica (El Tink!) really made sense to me, it was in response to the questions I had regarding the friendships that I can choose to build up over these next few months before I move. This was the general idea:

You should form as many relationships as you can and enjoy them while you have them, because in the midst of reminscing I realized that I would rather have those memories than have none at all. And then I thought, ‘What if I didnt have those memories? What would I have been thinking about instead?’ Friends come and go but that is what makes life beautiful, that you were able to instill a set of memories that would remain in someone for sometime and that you had the ability to do that to as many people possible!”

This especially makes sense coming from Jessica! When I think about our friendship, it is one that was started during high school, through terrifying times in Track & Field and AP European History. Over time, things became more entertaining than excruciating (using old plastic knives to explore a strange area between a high school and a freeway, and learning about “communists” in class), but after high school we no longer got to see each other much, because we were going to different colleges. Despite the fact that we were not each other’s closest friends and that we did not see each other after graduation, we planned a trip to New York City together, not fearing the fact that we would probably have good times and then not see each other much upon our return. Planning a trip on our own and visiting such a huge place together has turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. It was stressful and extremely difficult to make ends meet, but spending the New Year of 2005 exploring midtown Manhattan (accidentally visiting a cult and getting kicked out of it, strolling into the Jeckyll and Hyde club, rescuing items from the trash outside of Burberry and freezing in the coldest weather we had ever experienced) was a very defining time in my life. That night I realized that while we definitely had our fun, we were adults who had managed to work for and pull off something amazing.

When I think back to that night (and every other night–especially the last!) of the trip, I do feel a bit sad that she and I do not get to spend so much time together any more… We grew very close together those eight days as we pooled our money to buy the cheapest food possible, took the incredibly long train and bus rides back to our ghetto New Jersey hotel, stared in awe at every thing we saw, and splurged the last night to stay at a legendary NYC hotel. Despite knowing that we would not see each other so much after the trip, I do not regret planning it AT ALL. Every moment there was worth all of the work that went into the trip, and those things I just mentioned… those are the memories that stay with you. I cannot tell you much about the Physical Geography class whose final I took just days before the trip, but I could go into vivid details about every minute of that trip.

With this in mind… I am going to stop secluding myself this summer because of thoughts that I will only build up relationships that will not last too long. My heart still aches at some aspects of my personal life. Things could be better in my job situation. I wish I could promise to work on my friendships just as much once school starts. But for now, even if I cannot be completely happy with how things are… I will make the conscious effort to be content. I will work on my friendships regardless of what might happen to them this fall. I would hate to think that I might miss out on experiences even half as huge as those in New York were, just out of a fear for the unknown.

Gracias, El Tink!