I kind of sort of hate it when I am wrong and/or when a group of people thinks that I am wrong about something, when in reality it is just a matter of opinion. And then I hate when it is a group of friends who is doing it, because I think they know how much I hate to be wrong and how I will get riled up over small and really stupid things just to show that I am right. But then I wonder if they actually do not realize how much it bothers me. Do people think I like the challenge of showing that I am not wierd for liking something? Or, are my friends trying to demonstrate what it is that I do to people… sort of giving me a taste of my own medicine to show that it sucks? I am not sure. I just hate when things feel like it is Esther vs. Everybody Else. But even more than that, I hate that I get so bothered.
I do not make sense. If I actually explained what this is all about, I can almost guarantee that everybody would agree that it is stupid. So I will not get into that. But I guess this brings on a list of confessions on my part.
- Most of my friends have similar opinions as me on big important topics, so I hate when among friends, people think that my taste in music, clothes, movies, television, or food suck. It should not matter, but it really does bother me. If it is a stranger, I could care less.
- I hate getting made fun of. Especially over little things. I hate when people insult/make fun of me for liking 10 Things I Hate About You, tacky clothes (beads and stuff. I know.), The Cure, Gilmore Girls, It’s a Grind coffee, my blog reading, the way that I like my food, and various other things.
- I hate that I do this to people. I make fun of their crap music, dumb television, “untasteful” (in my opinion) clothes, the way they talk… I hate that I cannot take it when the things that I do to other people are done back to me.
- I hate that the people I want most to read this probably will not.
- I really wish that people would just step away from my favorite things.
How childish did I sound right there? Haha. Very! Because of this…
- I hate that I get into immature moods like this!
Anyway. Tonight I went to see the musical Oklahoma! at my old high school. I used to play in the orchestra pit for these musicals and they were always fun to be a part of. Even though I know very few people in the orchestra and even fewer people on stage these days, it is nice to go back to these things. Apart from the trips (Las Vegas, Astro Camp, Catalina Island, Monterey, San Francisco) that I was able to go on because of the programs I was in, the musicals were the only things that I truly enjoyed about high school. When I look back on high school, I do not like the person who I was; my past attitudes and behaviors are things that I have been trying to deal with lately. Even if tonight’s production was not the best musical I have ever seen, it made me glad to realize that my work with music was something that I tended to enjoy and something that I can be proud of. It was the one thing that, despite some embarassment at the time, I stuck with. It was the one thing I did not pretend to like. It was the one thing that I did to impress nobody but myself. It is the one thing that I wish I dedicated more time to back then, the one thing from high school that I wish I still did.
Just in case you were wondering, I also hate when people make fun of the way I edit my pictures. Just kidding.
