Posted in January 2006

Imperfect

Sometimes I find myself falling into old habits, and it really is frustrating.

I fall into habits of laziness where I let myself sit around wasting time for hours on end, even when I know that I have a lot of studying I would be better off doing.

I get ideas about skipping work for a day or two so that have more time to sleep.

Then I start to feel sorry for myself and start playing mind games to make other people feel sorry for me.

And then I write about all of it on my website, while putting off my reading, thus restarting the whole laziness cycle. Oops.

Not good!

Good times.

Yesterday I spent about an hour or so typing out a long entry looking back to my life about a year and a half ago and getting kind of deep and personal as to what was going on in my life at the time. I was actually quite pleased with what I wrote, and was excited to grace the internet with my writing, after taking a bit of an unannounced hiatus. At that moment, movable type decided that it wanted to convert a user to wordpress. Instead of publishing my writing, it deleted it. And now here we are.

Maybe I will write on that topic at another time, but for now, I will instead talk about the current happenings in my life. Fun? Maybe not for you, but definitely for me.

Literature is proving to be an enjoyable and mentally stimulating major. Having three literature courses is a bit confusing, especially because a lot of the material in two of them is overlapping, but still pleasant. My other two courses are also going well so far. Bottom line: the semester is off to a much more interesting start than I imagined it would be.

A lot is happening in the lives of my friends! While these things aren’t happening for me, it certainly is exciting to stand by and watch. Some friends have been turning 21, and a lot of celebrating has been taking place. An older friend is probably going to be having a baby this week or next. One friend just had a life-changing experience while on a trip in another country. Another friend has started a job doing what she truly loves.

And me? Exciting things are happening for me, in addition to sharing in the joy of friends. Many trips to Los Angeles have been taken, many episodes of Gilmore Girls have been watched, many fascinating conversations have taken place, and many meals have been consumed with a certain boy as of late.

Prime of our lives? I think so! Things might not get better than this, and that is okay. All I can hope is that they’ll be this good for a long time yet. Stay tuned for more.

sadg

gasdgasdgsadg

Hoping somebody still reads this…

It has been a while since I have written here! I am not even sure what I should say at this point.

Winter break has been amazing, but today I found myself wishing I had a packed and busy schedule, I found myself wishing I was stressed out! That is a strange thing to wish for, I do not know why I would want that. When I think back to my spring semester ’05, I am amazed with myself, I worked so much while having classes that were very difficult. I feel like I did not do as much this semester, even though I always felt so busy. I kind of want to work several hours while going to school this semester, just to prove to myself that I can. Plus, I guess money is nice too.

I am 5 days shy of working at my current place of employment for a year. That’s quite a record for me! Part of me wants to stay in the company and move up to the corporate level by the time I graduate, part of me wants out soon. Sometimes I am glad with the major I have chosen, sometimes I wonder if I should have gone into something more practical.

I have become a lot more stable recently, but sometimes I am still as fickle as ever.

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