Changeable.net

So to sum up my life these past few days…

I got in a completely wierd mood because of I’m not sure what and I quit my job on Wednesday. I called up a company and had an interview for the next morning. Then later on on Wednesday I talked to some people and I changed my mind. So on Thursday I got my job back. And now this morning and tomorrow morning I was/ will be on morning shifts and I kind of like them, but I am real sleepy right now. It’s back to my night shifts, at least for a while starting Tuesday though.

I do not know where all of my hours go everyday, it seems like I do not get much done and I do not talk to very many people. I have just been feeling funny as of late. Not sad necessarily, but just disconnected. Un-numinous.

Today I realized that caffeine really does not go through my system well. I get headaches and they just are not so fun. I need to fall asleep like now.

Yesterday and today were spent planting a garden in my front yard, it looks pretty, but I am unattatched to it.

Mary came over today (and yesterday, she helped me a lot with the plants, yay!), we ate SO MUCH FOOD. Chicken, pasta, ice cream, nasty drinks from It’s a Grind (we’ll never be adventurous again!), chocolate, more chicken, more pasta, quesadillas, peanut butter and jelly… this was all between like 6pm and now. Crazy crazy. We’ve been watching all of the episodes of Gilmore Girls together, it’s taking forever! We started season one in like April or something. We watch at least three episodes each time, we’re almost done with disc 2 of season 3.

Haha I think somebody called me from work this morning and asked me to finish her shift until 11am, but I am not even sure if it happened or if it was a dream, I was so asleep, I don’t even remember what I said to her. I’m not working so much this week, I’ll be free all but two nights which is amazing. I will be doing some morning shifts, so it will be interesting to see how it goes. I kind of blew up at work last saturday and I feel bad, but hopefully things will be more calm now.

I think tomorrow I will start going to the gym again, once midterms started this past semester, I had no time.

Four different parties came to see the house today. I kind of hope the house gets sold soon so that we can get the move over with; I’m anxious to see where my next home will be. I will miss my dogs if I have to give them up (I probably will)… I haven’t been spending so much time with them because it makes me sad, but I probably should play with them all I can right now.

This summer is turning out to be different than I expected it would be, but it is not bad. I wished I saw some people more, hopefully that can be worked on more now.

And I have the next two days off from work. My mood is suddenly very happy.

At this point, I can either

a) keep my job and my full time school schedule for the upcoming semester, cut down my hours at work, probably quit in december, and get a new job in January doing easier office work,
b) cut down my schedule at school so I am only going part time, accept a new position at work that comes with a raise, and earn some money (this will cause me to get out of community college a year later than expected),
c) quit. like now. or in July.

Something needs to change, I am not getting paid nearly enough for all of the responsibilities that I have, I know of positions that I can have that pay between nine and eleven dollars, but I would probably hate them. I am getting worn out though. I do not get home until after I wish I could be in bed, but they rely on me to close there a lot. I have no life, it’s hard to do anything during the day because I have to leave by mid afternoon to go to work. I am not a night time person, I make up for not getting to bed at a decent time by crashing and burning and sleeping the day away.

Sorry, I am just frustrated with everything. I had to cancel plans tonight to cover for somebody. I was told that if I went in, it would be worth my while. This was the second time covering for the same person this week. It sucks when somebody gets sick or their husband gets injured while training in the army, but it also sucks when I have to push my plans for tonight over to Monday night, and it sucks to get criticized for hesitating to cover somebody’s shift. All of this for less than four hundred dollars every two weeks, I couldn’t pay my way through college if my life depended on it. Oh wait, it does, or at least my future does.

Things are sort of looking up, at least from yesterday when my mom and I had a fairly big discussion over this whole house thing.

They put the house on the market today, somebody already came by to see it. I’m kind of amused, the house looks better now than it has the whole time we have lived in it. Anyway, if everything goes as planned, the following good things will happen:

- We will move into two apartments, one will be mostly mine (in the summer it would be my brother’s as well).
- My parents will pay me back for the all of the things I did to my room.
- My parents will take me along to Hawaii for their 25th anniversary and I will not have to pay my way like I thought I would.
- Having them pay for the Hawaii thing makes it so that I can spend a bit more and not worry so much about New York and camping (if I manage to pull both off)
- I get to decorate again.

But the bad bad bad thing will be that I will lose my dogs. I’m so sad about losing Amir especially, we grew up together. At the same time, my mom already knows of this chick who really wants him and can probably take better care of him than I can with my schedule. Even if we find some apartments that allow dogs, it would not be fair to keep him cooped up inside all day. So yeah, the dog thing has me a bit down. I think it is good that they’re selling though. Even if the house prices continue to rise and do not go down immediately, this makes good sense for our financial situation right now. For the first time since I can EVER remember, my parents will finally be able to get out of debt. And when the house prices go down (they’ll have to eventually) they’ll be able to get something better.

Anyway, I have the next two days off from work, I need to get to sleep and start enjoying my rest time.

It seems that I will be going back to the city I loved oh so much next month. My whole experience there still seems too surreal, I am ready to enjoy myself even more this time. My bags will be lighter with summer clothing instead of winter coats, this time our California bodies will not be shocked by the cold, nothing will hold us back. Flights will be booked and reservations made next friday.

Today I met a nice boy, I just wish I could know how long he’ll be nice before showing his true colors or if I will ever even see him again.

Tonight there was a staff meeting, I got a $50 gift certificate to tower records and a new t-shirt. Sitting there with everybody, I was able to remember why I still work there, these are the people whom I have been fortunate to hang out with while getting payed for the past 6 months. Yes, six months ago today (even if it is a wee bit early), I walked through the doors of that coffee shop for only my second time ever. I was fresh off of a plane from New York and tired from a day of school. This is officially the job I have held for the longest amount of time, however sad that may be. We’ll see what happens in the future.

As far as tonight goes, I am very tired, but it’s almost as though I am afraid to sleep, like I feel guilty for something, and I think I know what it is.

My car is having issues, it did not want to start tonight and it kept making funny noises.

My parents are thinking that we’ll be giving our dogs away for this whole moving thing. I’ve had my baby since I was 12, he’s my son! I’m trying to not be stubborn, but I really want to just say no way yo, I’m staying here in my room, the next family can take me in.

I really want a particular camping trip and a trip to new york to work out.

Today I went to church kind of late, I woke up kind of tired and dizzy? I still needed more sleep. I watched the brats (taught sunday school), and then went to lunch with Marisa. Lunch was fun, we’d been wanting to hang out for months now, and every time we tried things came up, but we finally got to eat and talk, so that was awesome. I came home, slept for a few hours, went to ikea with the dad, ate dinner, and watched Raising Arizona with my brother (funny/ good movie, btw).

As promised, my room pictures:

New dressers, paint, bed, bedside table, and other little things. The bathroom is pretty much the same, I just put a table thing in there (I was going to mod podge it, but…), and put the bookcase that was in there in the bedroom.

Sorry, I know that they’re blurry, and if I could, I would have taken more pictures of details in the room, but… here’s the story. My parents follow the housing market pretty closely, when we bought our house in 2003, it was about $238,000. Since then it has risen more than 2/3 what it was worth in value. There’s a lot of speculation going on with the market now, and my parents have decided that they want to sell the house, they expect the prices to crash before too long. So they want to move out to some rental property. Pronto. As in we’re having an open house in about 3 weeks. So I’m kind of over it (it being my room, mod podging, taking better pictures, etc). I’m not too upset that they didn’t decide this before I went through the trouble of redecorating, because I can still use most of the stuff, I just wish that I hadn’t painted because it took a lot of time. And I guess the work I did will help the house sell for more. Anyway, that’s my room, don’t get too attached.

From

List five songs that you are currently digging… It doesn’t matter what genre they are from, whether they have words or even if they’re any good but they must be songs you’re really enjoying right now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your five songs. Then tag five other people to see what they’re listening to.

Mine:

1. Speed of Sound – Coldplay
2. Nothing Better – The Postal Service
3. Cannonball – Damien Rice
4. Middle of Nowhere – Hot hot heat
5. We Belong Together – Mariah Carey (don’t make fun)

I tag: , , , , and .

p.s. Ramany, I would have done you except you recently told us what you’re ‘digging’.