Changeable.net

My speech class is over now, it only lasted half a semester. One thing I was not expecting was to be sitting at home bored during the time that I would have been in class. Where does everybody go on thursday nights?!? Not online, apparently. I thought of going to the gym but it didn’t seem appealing. I thought of dropping by work, but I already went to the Bixby It’s a Grind today. It was funny because my boss was there. I mean, I guess it’s not that funny, but when the highlight of your day was getting to school an hour late, you have to work with what you’ve got.

I started daydreaming about apartments again today. I really want to get one. But when it’s costing just over $1000 a month for a 1 bedroom apartment here in Long Beach (staying out of the downright ghetto), it becomes clear that I need a room mate and a LOAN. I think most of the people who I would want to share an apartment with are just as broke as I am. But hey… get 4 people together for a 2 bedroom townhouse apartment and it’s less than $400 each! And that, my friends, is do-able.

today was a swell day.

I managed to wake up for swim and had a good workout

I went to the gym and ran almost three miles on the treadmill

I cleaned my room and bathroom (they REALLY needed it)

I did laundry

I met up with Julie

I went to work

I got a raise =)

I worked with Jen

I worked with Mike

Marisa came in, we’re going to hang out soon

We had a fun time working

The guys helped Jenn and I get all of the closing chores done, we were out in good time

I went to Jenn’s house for a while, we watched TiVo’d America’s Next Top Model while making new tip cups

I am home now and ready to sleep.

The only bad thing is that no homework got done today. Whoops.

Yesterday was an interesting day.

The coolest, most random thing happened at church, and while it was a bit strange, it was sort of a confirmation that I am moving in the right direction as far as my relationships go.

I am soon going to be starting to teach sunday school with Monica again. I am looking forward to it, I am over the dumb stuff we have in our past. I don’t expect for us to become the best of friends again during this time, but I think it’ll be good to start rebuilding a cordial relationship with her.

Last night at work was very interesting. Marisa (btw, you rule!) and Jenn were extremely overworked because one of the employees quit/ didn’t show up/ I’m not sure what. Jenn had to stay an extra half hour and then had to come back a few hours later to close with me, making her work day nearly 10 hours long. Marisa also stayed an extra half hour, and it sucked because there were only two of us working instead of three like there usually are right then. Everybody was real helpful though, I would have been completely lost without these girls! One of the Amy’s who we work with came in on her own time and helped a bit, and after helping close at another It’s a Grind location, the other Amy came and helped us close our store. We got free drink cards.

One of our customers brought us these huge strawberries and we made delicious drinks out of them.

After closing, Jenn, Amy, and I were fed up and had SO SO SO much stuff to talk about, so we went to Denny’s and went crazy for a few hours talking about work, guys, school and anything you can imagine. It was awesome. When we left, some chick was trying to sell us perfume out of her trunk. There was a random guy passed out in her backseat, lol.

I got in trouble for coming home late, but my mom wasn’t actually too upset, so it turned out alright.

Ha, well, it’s time to go to work again! Wooo! (btw, moodies, STOP!)

Today was fun. Mary and I went to this nice salon on 2nd street to get her hair cut, it was my birthday present to her and it came out super cute =) After that we went to the pike, got some pizza, and dropped in at Cold Stone. All of the people who I enjoyed working with were there, and they still gave me the 50% discount, good stuff.

After that, we went back to Millikan, our high school, to watch the annual spring musical. It was good, but I dunno. I guess it always seemed cooler when you knew virtually everybody on stage, your best friends had the leads, and you got to play the music in the orchestra pit. It didn’t seem as big as it did in the past. But no offense to anybody who was in it, it was still good. At the end we got to see a lot of people who we used to know though, so that was fun.

My mom made me spaghetti. I think she’s over trying to get me to lose weight, hooray!

Aparently my boss called me at 6am-ish to ask if I could come in to work at 7am. I feel bad that I couldn’t because there wouldn’t have been very many people who could, but… I didn’t even wake up until the time my shift would have been over, and I didn’t hear his message until 7ish tonight, so… oh well I guess.

Oh man, I have SO SO SO SO SO much homework this weekend! Midterms to study for, projects to finish, papers to write, late homework to catch up on… I suck x200! I’m glad I went to lbcc now. I don’t think university instructors would like me very much right now. The teachers here are cool though. Wee.

Thus ends another pointless point by Esther.

I no longer know how to get to bed at a decent time. I’m not one of those normal people who can go to bed at 4 am one night a week and be in bed by 11 pm all of the other nights of the week. At some point, and I do not remember what point this was, I stayed up till 3am. It was probably just talking online or watching room raiders or doing something equally lame. I doubt it is because I was doing something cool. Since that time I have become cursed to not be able to go to sleep before 1am. Which sucks because I like to get things done and out of the way in the morning. It becomes hard to do this when you don’t drag yourself out of bed till almost 1 in the afternoon. I keep waking up 5 minutes after I was supposed to leave for school, making it so that I go to school unwashed and in whatever random tshirt and jeans my hands happen to grab first. Oh yeah, that’s glamorous. The sad thing is that during this whole going to bed late thing, I am not using any of this late night time to do homework, instead I am doing things like waiting for my next episode of gilmore girls to download or refreshing my friends page to read something new. I used to do my homework and studying from 7am-10am, but that doesn’t work anymore.

That’s probably way more than anybody ever wanted to know about my sleep schedule.

Work was good today, it wasn’t busy, my boss was enjoyable (he told jokes!), the people were fun, and the live music was good again. He played a lot of 60s and 70s folk stuff. Lots of Simon and Garfunkel, Cat Stevens, Beatles, etc. And by request, he played landslide. Wee.

I remember in 4th grade, my teacher, Mrs. Hanson told us that her cats name was Garfunkel. The whole class, myself included, became hysterical because we thought she wanted her cat to be named Garfield but she messed up. You can see that us kids from Inglewood were incredibly “cultured.” I might just try and contact this Mrs. Hanson soon. She was my favorite teacher ever and looking back, she had a great, unique personality. And I secretly think I was her favorite, she’d always buy new books for the class specifically for me to read. Sup.

I feel so un-numinous, so out of touch with the world and with reality.

I met with my friend Julie today, it was SO good to just talk for two and a half hours! We agreed we will start meeting on wednesdays to catch up with each other. I let everything that’s been going through my mind out to her, and it was so crazy. I had been feeling things that I didn’t realize were even there. There are still a lot of questions that I do not know the answers to.

For example, it has become clear that at the end of this whole strange month thing with Nate, things definitely do need to come to an end. What I do not know though, is how I am supposed to say this, how I will deal with his reaction, who I will hang out with at church, if he and I will still be friends (it’s easy to say we will, but in the end, complete separation might be best?), and a whole bunch of other things.

We also came to the conclusion that I am very bored with life and that is why I have been considering making things interesting by doing things I’d be best not doing.

Another conclusion was that I have commitment issues when it comes to every aspect of my life, whether it be relationships, picking a college, picking a major, picking a career, following through with meeting with people… basically yes, I don’t like to commit to anything, and I can’t believe I am just figuring this out now.

As far as my trip to Oregon goes, I really hope that I like the school, because it seems like the change of pace I just might need. I also hope that I hate the school so that I can stay home and not worry about going. Haha, it snows there a little tiny bit. Wonder how I’d adjust to the cold.

Work was interesting again today. The whole “out of touch with the world” thing got me down. And everybody there is stressed out because of scheduling and overworking and the like. Makes things difficult. We made good tips though, 18 dollars for a weeknight? Sweet! Yeah.

Oh yeah. I had lunch wtih Matt today sort of. We were’t going out to lunch, we were just working on our speech project. But then it turned out that you have to pay to use the internet at Border’s, so we just got food and talked a wee bit about the project but a lot more about other random stuff. We should have just gone to my workplace, free wireless internet, no $25 monthly fee. Effin t-mobile who do they think they are, charging so much for hot spots! But I had to be at work from 3-closing and I was there for two hours beforehand with Julie. I don’t think I would have enjoyed being there for an hour and a half more.

Okay, I am rambling now.