Posted in June 2004

♥

Its gonna be Love
It’s gonna be great
It’s gonna be more then I can take
It’s gonna be free
It’s gonna be real
It’s gonna change everything I feel
It’s gonna be sad
It’s gonna be true
It’s gonna be all i want to do
It’s gonna be hard
It’s gonna be tough
It’s gonna be more then just enough
It’s gonna be love

I’m going to do a big long picture post… ready?

First things first. Gotta show off my baby


=)

I know I’m wierd, but… I swear that Amir resembles Sarah Jessica Parker here, haha…

On thursday, a bunch of us went to sunset beach… to watch the sunset.


Dani and Christina


Robin


Ramany and Nathan


The sunset


Then I started taking pictures of Nate’s camera as it was taking pictures… this is what it turned out like.


So I tried to take a picture of him taking a picture of us.


Tried again.


We gave up… here’s us again, smiling REAL big, haha ♥

These next three are from Nate’s camera.

=) Puffed up faces…


Dani liked this one, so I thought I’d throw it in. Love ya ofy!


I think this was near the end… we look tired!

After this, we all went to Ruby’s in Seal Beach. We actually saw a seal on the beach… pretty crazy. I was scared that it might be hurt, but it seemed alright. After dinner and the seal, we all headed home, and as Nate and I were heading to the car, we came to a bunch of people from Poly who were saying hi. It was… interesting, lol.

I was tired after that, but I couldn’t sleep. I ended up staying asleep for a long time, even though the next day was going to be big… unfortunately, I’m real tired, so you’ll have to wait until the next post for theMxPx/ San Diego Fair Pictures… The more comments I get on these pictures, the quicker I’ll make the next picture post. They take forever!

Tomorrow’s another day
Summer of 69
Should I stay or should I go
Punk rawk show
Sometimes you have to ask yourself
Chick Magnet
gsf
I’m ok, you’re ok
Party, my house, be there
My life story
Responsibility
Next big thing
Play it loud
Well adjusted
Its alright
Quit your life

…though not in that order, those are the songs that mxpx played tonight. And there were a few other’s that I didn’t know. It was sooo awesome though! I don’t think they’ll ever cease to be my favorite band! Ah, I loved it. I’m way tired though. I’ll write more tomorrow!

Dear You,

Is it time for an update? I suppose so.

First of all, I hopped on the bandwagon and got a gmail account… it’s esther.h@gmail.com . Yeah, I know, not the coolest email address, but I wanted it to me semi-professional. To replace my old hotmail one. So my two email addresses now are that gmail one and esther@oh-heck-no.net. Just so we’re clear, word address has always given me issues when I’ve tried to spell it. So if I messed that up, don’t mind. Anyway, so far the gmailness is awesome, but I have only had it for a few hours so obviously, I haven’t gotten to use it much.

Enough about email. Except that I like getting it. So you should send me some!

Right now I am doing something which I rarely do. I have less than half an hour until 4am and I am still wide awake. Actually, I feel real dumb and slow, so I guess I’m not quite so awake. Still though, I’m normally fast asleep and having REAL wierd dreams somewhere between ummm…. 10 and 1. Yeah.

I’ve worked a lot on my baby tonight. If I get bored enough, it may get finished sooner than expected. I have a lot of ideas for content, and I think that they are unique/semi-unique, so hopefully people will appreciate my efforts. Who knows though.

Let’s see. This past week was really not so good. A lot of frustrating things happened to me, but there were about 2 or 3 people who helped make it more bearable for being there with me, and I really appreciate that they were able to do that.

This week is a different story though. It’s off to a much better start.

~I’m all moved into my new room. It still lacks my new bed and has a serious need to be decorated, but I really like it. Nate helped me move in, and it was lots of fun.
~Last night I sort of came to a peace about the whole situation with Monica. I did something this morning which I hope will make things better, but it’ll be a few days before I know for sure.
~I went with Dani to Rolling Hills Plaza today. Ah, that place is great! It’s like… Marina Pacifica, The Pike, Long Beach Towne Center, The Marketplace, and 2nd street all put into one place. Dani and I both used to go there before we moved to Long Beach, so we thought it would be fun to take a trip there. It was a bit far, but I’d love to start going there more often.

If you’ve read to here, you deserve a prize. You also ought to leave a comment if you did read it all.

Goodnight!

~A suddenly sleepy Esther

p.s. Nathalie I can’t see any of your entries! I think you have to take me off your friend’s list and then add me back… sorry!

This hasn’t been the best week for me.

First the good stuff… I went out to lunch with Somatra and I had a blast. We went to rock bottom brewery, and I finished every last thing I ordered. It was so much, I was stuffed! It was awesome though, real good food. And it was only like… $15 for each of us, which is cheap considering how good it was. Afterward, we walked up and down pine avenue, and we went to Bath and Body Works. I got a bunch of stuff for my new bathroom, and it was all on sale, so it was awesome.

Now onto the not so great stuff.

When Somatra drove up to my house, the street sweeper dude was coming right up my street, so I was like.. holy crap, I forgot to move my car! The guy in the truck ended up not caring and he just drove past me without giving me another look, but I was already in my car, so I figured I should move it anyway. In case he came back or something, I dunno. EBENEEZER JOEL (my beloved car) wouldn’t start! I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but Somatra was waiting for me, I figured that the street sweeper wouldn’t come back, and that I was probably nervous about a ticket so I was turning it on wrong. Soooo… I left to lunch. When I came back, I tried to turn it on to see what was up with it, but it still wouldn’t do it! I have no clue what’s wrong with it, because it was fine yesterday. Somatra and I did everything we could, but no luck. My dad and brother also both had a look, but none of us know what’s up. So tomorrow I have to get EJ towed and into a shop. This would be bad enough, because I don’t know how much this whole thing is going to end up costing, but my New York plans might fall through! Jessica and I were going to go to the travel agent tomorrow, but now I can’t drive us. That’s not even my main worry about the trip though. My worry is that I have to pay for it, as well as my car expenses. And I don’t have a job right now. And if this car thing only costs like $100 to fix, I’ll be okay, but I’m freaking out that it might be $600 or more. In which case I don’t know if I can still afford to do the trip.

It gets worse.

I was supposed to go to the beach today (the weather wasn’t very beachy, but oh well), but obviously, I was not able to get myself there. But wait, there’s more. It was a whole beach party dealy with Nate’s friends, and it would have been my first time meeting ALL of the people there except for him and Jason. So I’m bummed because they probably think I’m a flake, I was looking forward to meeting them, and I was of course looking forward to being with Nate. By the time Somatra and I gave up on fixing EJ, my hands were a greasy mess, we’d had no success (not trying to rhyme), and all of the other people had already left, so there was no way Nate could have caught a ride to get there. And I feel so bad! I know Nate’s dissapointed. I ruined everything today. Man oh man.

So lets recap on what went wrong. My car broke down, I didn’t get to go to the beach, I didn’t get to see mi Chio, I kept him from a fun beach party, his friends probably think I suck, he probably thought I made the car thing up at first as an excuse to not go (there were some issues with that too, but I don’t want to go into that… let’s say, I don’t think he thought I wanted to go, and to me it didn’t seem like he wanted me to go all that badly… I’m over that though, hope you are too chio. I did want to go. And I hope you wanted me to go…), have to ride in a tow truck with some random truck driver tomorrow and then sit in a shop waiting room tomorrow, I can’t go to the travel agent tomorrow, my plans for new york might fall through…. ugh.

Then tonight, Monica, Laura, Karin, and Linda came over. I basically sat and talked with Linda the whole time. And I mean, it was perfectly fine, but it was so akward because I said nothing to Monica, and hardly anything to Laura. I don’t know what to make of everything. It’s all still a mess. Oh and I missed The Simple Life. And I watched Newlyweds, but I couldn’t hear it because of a bunch of noise outside and inside my house. I sound so bratty, haha. All pissed off because of television. Oh well.

I saw the Ashlee Simpson show. I liked it. A lot. I’m not sure about her singing, but I like how she writes her words and all. And she seems more fun than her sister. So yay.

So I’m hoping tomorrow is a lot better. And that its a repair that takes less than $100. And that the tow truck driver isn’t a perv. And that the repair only takes a few minutes. And that I can still get to the travel office. And that I’ll be set for New York.

Those are some big hopes. Man.


Chilli and Tink.
The two of us are SO going to NYC next month.
Furthermore, I am going to be SO broke, but I am promising myself that when I get back, I will seriously get a job.

It’s going to be a blast.


Top Commenters on ‘s LiveJournal

1 19 19
2 19 19
3 12 12
4 7 7
5 Anonymous 6 6
6 4 4
7 3 3
8 2 2
9 1 1
10 1 1
11 1 1

Total Commenters: 11
Total Comments: 75

Report generated 6/15/2004 10:40:15 AM by ‘s LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.1


Back in school they never taught us
what we needed to know
Like how to deal with despair
of someone breakin your heart
For eight years I’ve held it all together
but a night like this is beggin to pull me apart
I played it quiet left you deep in conversation
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen
I remember I kept thinking
that I know you never would
And now I know I want to kill you
like only a best friend could

Everyone’s caught on to everything you do
Everyone’s caught on to…

As if it happening wasn’t enough
I got to go and write a song
just to remind myself how bad it sucked
Ignore the sun, covers over my head
Wrote a message on my pillow that says
“Esther, stay asleep in bed”
Don’t apologize (I hope you choke and die!)
Search your shelf for something which to hang yourself
They say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven
But they don’t tell you what to say
when your whole life has gone to Hell!

Everyone’s caught on to everything you do
Everyone’s caught on to…
(and I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to everything you do
(and I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to…

So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield

Is that what you call tact?
You’re as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let’s end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say “best friends” means friends forever

Is that what you call a getaway?!!
Tell me what you got away with!!
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish!!
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids!!
Have another drink and drive yourself home!!
I hope there’s ice on all the roads!!
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
then when your head goes through the windshield!!

(I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to everything you do
(and I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to…
(I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to everything you do
(and I can’t let you let me down again)
Everyone’s caught on to…

ok, so I don’t want to kill her and I don’t want her to die. but still. I’m still not sure of what to do.

I’m sick of putting up with everything.

before my long crap, let me just say, that my day was great before all of this. thansk to everybody who helped make it great, you all know who you are.

so here goes.

Monica’s words. HER words. (she’s talking about the day after her graduation, which also happened to be my graduation I’ve bolded certain parts that really upset me, and my commentary is in parenthesis):

“the next day we were supposed to go out to eat for ben but nooooooooo. some doofus had to invite joe to their graduation because they thought it was a “tradition”.(as far as I could see, it was tradition. And somebody told me it was tradition. So I was trying to be polite. ) what the heezie! he didn’t want to go (no one was begging him to go) so susie just volunteered but she didn’t want to go alone so i volunteered but then we both didn’t want to go anyway (I would have jumped at the chance to go to her graduation. After all, I thought we were best friends.) so it was really retarded. then we thought we should just go late and say we we went and stuff. (that’s just… seriously, that’s cruel. I don’t need anybody telling me that they were at my graduation the whole time if they didn’t see it at all.) i thought we would use my parents tickets but they left early or something. (at this point, all I can say is thank goodness. and holy crap, in my messages to joe i made it clear that they should get the tickets from me) but that didn’t matter anyway because at 7:30 we started eating. so i was confused. everyone was mad. (sorry for wanting people to go to what was supposed to be one of the biggest nights of my life so far). we wanted to go out to eat. that was a waste of time. haha, laura and ben were messed up but we made up for it today. but earlier in the office we had to call their (their being me and my brother’s house)house and we were fighting over who should…lol…laura’s the loser (so it gets to the point where the church faculty argue over who has to be the one to call me. and so that’s why Laura called me on friday.) “

I mean… just. man. And to make matters worse, about a million people from church went to her graduation. And all of those people were also supposed to be in on the dinner, I guess. And they were all being EXTRA nice to me today. At first I was like… aww how nice. But no. I mean, Joe spoke to me for way longer than he usually does, and he was giving me all of these compliments. I was like… uhh thanks. And someone was like… oh, sorry we couldn’t go, we sent sophorn to the graduation for you. It’s nice that she went, but her cousin was graduating. So.. of course she did. But I am grateful to her, Jason, and Somatra (and the rest of their family) for the flowers they sent my way. I really did appreciate that from them.

I didn’t talk to Monica today. Not one word. And we teach a class together, do you know how next to impossible that is?

And Nate’s upset about it too. Not with me, but with all of them. I feel so hopeless.

But I really am glad that I’ve gotten closer to Somatra and Susana. And Nateleys of course. And Jason. I don’t know what I’d do at church right now without all of them.

I guess that’s all there is to it. I have no clue what to do though. Any suggestions? I mean, is there any point to trying to fix this?

Sorry this was so long.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.