Changeable.net

[What band/singer]
Makes you cry: Michael Tate =/
Makes you laugh: steriogram
Makes you smile: outkast
You never want to hear again: white stripes
Sums up your teenage years: ermm I had one the other day, that I actually thought this about, but now I don’t remember.
You like to wake up to: no doubt and mxpx
You like out of your parents record collection: I don’t like my parents’ music. Can I pick from my brother’s music? foo fighters and smashing pumpkins.
You love that you wouldn’t know about if it wasn’t for a friend: ermmm relient k.
You love the video more than the tune: lol… outkast – roses
Makes you think of being alone: googoo dolls songs
Has only been released recently but you love already: I don’t know.
Are you embarrassed to admit you like: good charlotte, I suppose. It depends who I’m talking to.
Perks you up: mxpx
you love to sing to: brand new

[Four beverages you drink frequently]
1. water
2. orange juice
3. apple juice
4. razzmatazz from jamba juice.

[Four TV shows you liked when you were a little kid]
1. full house
2. family matters
3. growing pains
4. boy meets world

[Four places to go in your area]
1. ummm… town center
2. the pike?
3. how about… LA/hollywood
4. the oc

[Four things to do when you're bored]
1. watch tv
2. read
3. computer stuff
4. talk

[Four things that never fail to cheer you up]
1. friends
2. music
3. food
4. reading

[Four things you can't live without]
1. family
2. friends
3. computer =/
4. tv =/

[About ten years ago *list three things*]
1. I was seven.
2. I had cool payless shoes.
3. I hated math already.

[About four years ago *list three things*]
1. I was thirteen
2. I was worried about being split up from good friends
3. I was excited about/dreading finishing middle school

[about one year ago *list three things*]
1. I was sixteen
2. I was way excited about civic tour =)
3. My senioritis had already set in.

[Today...]
1. I am seventeen
2. I watched A LOT of full house. I don’t know how many episodes.
3. I cleaned a lot.

[Seven things you love]
1. family
2. friends
3. the programs on tgif 10 years ago.
4. music
5. abc family channel
6. my chennile blanket
7. TLC

[Seven things you dislike]
1. busy work
2. slow drivers
3. white stripes
4. fish
5. milk
6. maritz research
7. being broke

[seven things on your desk]
1. computer
2: stereo
3. camera
4. 2 remote controls
5. cell phone
6. cordless phone
7. books

[Seven facts about you]
1. wierd
2. seventeen
3. female
4. tv bum
5. I am… going to san diego this weekend.
6. I am graduating next week.
7. I hope to have a job lined up by then.

I made my last entry private, because I wrote it in a moment when I was very angry. I do want to say thanks to Ramany though, your coment meant a lot.

Things are better between my mom and I now, so I’m glad about that. The two of us are off to ikea now.

Shrek 2 with Nateleys tonight. =)

Wow, what a change from my last post.

I am so… sad and upset at my mom right now. She is the nicest person I know, she really is. But for some reason, her and I have not been getting along AT ALL recently, and it’s really messing us both up.

I don’t even know what happened today. All I know is I woke up early (it’s saturday, my only sleep in day, so yeah), and I cleaned my room and stuff to surprise her when she would come in to wake me up. I know, its the dorkiest thing ever, but I really wanted to do it. I didn’t do my laundry though, so I put the clothes in my closet, and that was the first thing I noticed. One thing turned to another, and the next thing I knew, we were in a big arguement about how my life is screwed over because I’m disorganized.

I told her that before she gets mad at me, she should look at her own room. Yeah, that was too much, I should not have said that. She went into this whole thing about her having her faults and knowing that she hasn’t been the best example, but that she has done her best to encourage my brother and I to not take after her faults, and I didn’t know what to say. I was just looking at her emotionlessly, because by this time, I had made her cry. I was so at a loss for what to do that I just sat down and kept listening to her talk. She got into how I shut her out of my life now, and that when ever she tries to give me advice, or let her help me out, I tell her not to.

She’s right about that. I have felt like I have no control over my life for a while now, and I’m trying to do things more on my own now. It’s not going so well.

I’m dissapointing her so much, and I can see that it hurts her. It tears me apart, because I don’t know what to do.

I eventually went to my room and sorted through my laundry and got together a load, but then there are already things in the washer and dryer, so I did all of that for nothing. At this point, I was crying, literally bawling, because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to do my laundry so that at least that would be out of the way, but her clothes were in there and man. I know it all seems so trivial, but I’m seriously confused.

I REALLY want to just move out or at least run away for a day. But I know that if I leave right now, when things are screwed up, that it will only make things worse. And while she has a point about some of the things she says, I don’t want to just give her control of my life! I can’t stand this anymore, and I wish there was something I could do about it!

I tried making some spaghetti (major comfort food), but I aklsdj;k;lkgj;aksdg freaking messed up! I eat it like every other day, but I made it all wrong today. I know I sound crazy right now, flipping over a stupid plate of spaghetti, but I can’t do anything right anymore! My dad was outside during this whole thing, and he came in to see me crying over my spaghetti. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him about my issues, and he said to not let my mom get to me. But I know she’s right in some ways, so I can’t help but let her get to me. Man. I need to go for a drive or something but if I do, they’ll freak out.

I’m at a loss for anymore words, goodbye.

Mary and I get to share the most outstanding Orchestra member award! I’ve actually gotten “most outstanding (insert grade level here)” for all of high school, but I never imagined that Mary and I would get to share the ONE. The orchestra plaque that our names get put on and that stays in Millikan forever (we also got our own one to take home). Ah, it’s great. And all of Robin and Tink also got awards, so we all went home happy.

Things with Nathaniel are very awesome as well! It’s like… we’ve grown on each other’s families. I love his little brother to bits, his dad gives me hugs when he sees me, his mom’s going to my graduation… etc etc etc. And he’s getting along great with my parents. And the two of us are of course going good =) We’re going to each other’s most important events, and its cool. And he had a cool shirt (gotta love the tuxedo print =) )And and and his kisses have been sweet, gentle, and caring, and I really am falling for him. ♥

–not to say that I’m in love with him right now… I have always been skepic about teenage love. Or something. I mean, I love him as a friend, and maybe as something more, but yeah… might take me a while. Like a week. Just kidding. But yeah, point is, I think we will work this time around. Third time’s a charm, right?♥

Prom was excellent.

I had a few complaints, but none of them were that big of an issue for me:

• The set of “rock” music that was played was way short, and they were all the typical “rock” songs that they play at dances. Blister in the Sun, You’re the one that I want, that one.. “girls, all i really want is girls” song… that type of thing
• My hair style died pretty much once we got there. Eventually, I just took out all the hair pins and tied it up. I wasn’t too bothered though.
• My corsage died =( It was pretty though, before it died
• My feet started to hurt real bad, lol

Okay, so… Mary and I went to get our hair and makeup done around 3, and got home around 5 or 5:15. I got dressed real quick, put in all my ear rings, changed my makeup a bit, and then it was time to go. My parents dropped Nate and I (and Mary) off at Dani’s, and yeah. Major kodak moment, lol. It was Dani, Me, Nate, Lizett, Mary, and Gina, and all of our parents (or sisters in Lizett’s and Gina’s case) were taking a million pictures. After that whole thing was done with, we tried to go to Lonestar, but it was packed, so we ended up going to In-n-out. Muahahahaha.

We got to prom, sat down until the lights were dimmed and dancing was getting started, and then we all went out to dance. Nate and I pretty much danced the whole time, but we took a few breaks because we kept getting to hot and thirsty.

I got my prom kisses ♥ =) Dani was right. I guess I was sort of expecting it too. It was sweet though.

After prom, all of us who were together before prom went over to Dani’s. Tink and Jeff, Ramany, Sarah, and Maria were also there for a while. We watched Bringing down the House. By the time it was over, I had fallen asleep multiple times, and most everybody had left. Mary, Nate, and I left around 3:30 or 4. I’m not sure what time really.

So yeah, it was a good evening.

Oh, and Nate said he’s gonna take me out to dinner tonight, since we didn’t get to go out to a nice restaurant last night…

Pictures will be up soon. I’ve got the ones on my camera, the ones on Nate’s camera, and the actual film one’s that my dad already got developed.

almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done almost done
Almost Done.

Yeah… senior project night and my statistics final are over! As far as I’m concerned, both went well (minus the wind during me and Dani’s performance). I just have my orchestra concert tonight, prom (wahoo!) on saturday, my senior project board evaluations next week, my english+gov finals the week after that. Then I’m going to San Diego for the weekend, and then I graduate on the 10th. High school really is almost done.

Oh yeah, I found out about another job opportunity… it sounds like a good deal, and I think I’ll try for it today. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing though. We’ll see.

Ah, and I think it was in my last post that I mentioned some wierd tension between Nathaniel and I… things are good again =)

ah, I suck! Sorry guys, everybody seems to be out of an internet mood recently, and I guess I have to admit that it’s passed on to me as well.

Lets see lets see…

I went out with Nathaniel again tonight. We saw Mean Girls. It was pretty funny. And different from what I expected. Things were wierd with me and him again though. There was some tension which went on that we didn’t really speak about, so that was a bummer. I don’t know what’s going on. But that’s nothing new.

Umm I think that Monica still hasn’t realized that I left her a message in her guestbook. I still want to hang out with her and talk to her, but once again, I don’t know what’s going on. We seem like we’ll try to make an effort to be the best friends we used to be, but then we’ve both sort of moved on. Ha. I have moved on but am still holding on. If that makes any sense. But yeah, she’s got Cindy and Ben, and I’ve got… people. I don’t know. But she’s not going to school with either of them next year… Cindy and Ben are both going to UCI, Monica’s going to CSULB. And while I know plenty of people who are going to LBCC, I’m apprehensive about it, because the people who I’m the closest to aren’t. Melissa, Mary, and Annie are the people who I know the most that are going to LBCC. They’re actually the 3 people I’ve known for the longest that I still talk to at Millikan. But Annie and Melissa have other people they’re close to and Mary… I dunno. I guess it’ll be akward. Anyway, my point is that with Monica and I being sort of wierd as far as companions at school, maybe we’ll be buddies again. I don’t want to plan on it though, because I don’t want to set myself up again for pain.

For anybody who hasn’t caught on, I’m officially not going to a university next year. Community college here I come. I picked up an application for the honors program today though, so at least I’m not commiting complete cerebral suicide.

I’m going to go apply for another job tomorrow. Carrow’s. It’s by my house and yeah, it’ll do. I might also try for the starbuck’s near my humble abode.

I do believe that Jessica (Tink) and I will be going to NYC this summer, for a week in July. If anybody wants to go, do let me know. Like seriously talk to me about it, so that you can be included in the planning. And… let me know soon, because we’ll want to make reservations and book flights within the next few weeks.

Prom is next weekend, and I don’t know how I feel about it all. I’m excited, but I just don’t know how it’ll go. I got a purse and a shawl for it, but the shawl doesn’t really match my dress, haha. So yeah, that’s going back to the store. And my mom and I are on a mission tomorrow to find a shawl. Jay!

Old Navy’s having some big tank top sale right now. I went, because I’m in love with Old Navy t’s, cami’s, halters, tanks, and all that. I got a bunch of shirts and some swim suit tops. I bought a lot but paid a little. Wahoo! There were still so many tank tops I wanted though. But you can’t have everything. Maybe after I start working…

Funny story: Today while Dani and I were having a lessonmajig, a wierd dude (I forgot his name) yelled “no soup for you!” (famous Seinfeld line for anybody who doesn’t know) to us… then Dani was all “how funny, I always say that!” and then I started to crack up, because I’ve never heard her say it, but I’ve said it to her a few times and she couldn’t remember me ever saying it. Okay, so maybe it’s not so funny. But it was at the time, I promise!

I believe that two weeks from now, everything of importance in my high school carreer will be over with, minus graduation itself. The weekend after finals (but before graduation) is when my family and I are going down to san diego. I hope to start working after that. And then I want to go down to the San Diego County Fair on the 25th of June to see mxpx. This is such a San Diego-y year for me!

Know what? Don’t ask me why most of this stuff wasn’t posted at oh-heck-no.net. Sorry for the rambling, but I’m too lazy to sort through which things should go here and which things on my blog.

Alright. Done.

Hey guys. I’m almost sorry that the only times I really post here are for surveys/quizzes and for my complaining. But just almost. I’m not really all that sorry.

Moving on, things are wierd with Nate and I. He’s upset about something, but he won’t say what, and it’s driving me crazy! I mean, that he won’t tell me what’s up is one thing, but that it’s causing us to not talk at all is just… aklsdjkj;jd;f I can’t stand it.

Blah blah blah. I don’t know what else to write. But it really is making me want to just fall asleep and forget it all. I think I might do just that, because sleep sounds pretty good right now. Whatever, I’ll do something.

Furthermore, I’m tired of this whole high school thing. I’m tired of the lame people, the lame teachers, and the lame situations. I don’t want to deal with people changing at the last minute and becoming so disrespectful and rude suddenly. I’m over it completely. I don’t even care about the people anymore.

And just since I mentioned surveys earlier in the post…

100 books. Bold the ones you’ve read.

1984, George Orwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
The BFG, Roald Dahl
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
Bleak House, Charles Dickens
Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
Catch 22, Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye, JD Salinger
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
Dune, Frank Herbert
Emma, Jane Austen
Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
The Godfather, Mario Puzo
Gone With The Wind, Margaret Mitchell
Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Sorceror’s Stone, JK Rowling
Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
His Dark Materials trilogy, Philip Pullman
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas Adams
The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Holes, Louis Sachar
I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
Katherine, Anya Seton
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, CS Lewis
Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
The Lord Of The Rings, JRR Tolkien
Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blighton
Magician, Raymond E Feist
The Magus, John Fowles
Matilda, Roald Dahl
Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
Middlemarch, George Eliot
Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie
Mort, Terry Pratchett
Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
On The Road, Jack Kerouac
One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
Perfume, Patrick Süskind
Persuasion, Jane Austen
The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
Pride And Prejudice, Jane Austen
The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
The Ragged Trousered Philantrhopists, Robert Tressell
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
The Secret History, Donna Tartt
The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
The Stand, Stephen King
The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
Tess Of The D’urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
The Twits, Roald Dahl
Ulysses, James Joyce
Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
War And Peace, Leo Tolstoy
Watership Down, Richard Adams
The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame
Winnie-the-Pooh, AA Milne
The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë

senior project+planning on meeting today and planning around it just to not meet= darn.