Changeable.net

I’ll still be making occasional public posts, but for now, most entries will be private.

Nate and I went to hollywood today (picture taken from moving car=blurryness). I had lots of fun, and I felt really comfortable with him.
Has anybody noticed that guys smell a certain way? Like a real real good smell? Mmm I can still smell him. He thinks I’m crazy though, he can’t smell it, haha.

Erm…Hand holding and stuff… I did enjoy myself, but I’m worried because it seems like we’re falling into our old habbits, where we move forward without knowing what’s going on. “Just friends” don’t hold hands. But “more than friends” don’t stop at that and hugs. So I’m confused. I feel like quoting from Getting There (I’m aware I’m a loser, no need to point that out). “We’re in the grey area.” Yeah. Something like that.

And I still haven’t asked him to prom because I always either forget, or else the “mood” isn’t right. It’ll happen at some point though, I know it will.

When I think about how much fun I have and how I feel when I’m with him, I wonder why I even have my doubts. But… I guess Jason put it best when he pointed out to me that “it’s like a movie. but it stops during the week and picks up during the weekend.” I don’t want that? And I know it just takes some effort, but I dunno. Still the fact that its been going on for so long. But I guess that could also be a good thing? Because it shows that we want this or else we would have moved on? Crap, I’ve known him for almost 8 years. This started 5 years ago. And it hasn’t ended yet. It’s been

Well this is true I miss you
And this is true I’ve got to see you, I’ve got to see you
Well I know we’re both so busy
And I know that you’re driving me crazy, you drive me crazy
It’s been two whole years
And three months before that
Since we first met, how could I forget?
You know it’s all my fault
And this is true you’re gonna get mad
Whenever I’ve been bad
I’ll have to make it up to you
One white rose or one sweet song for you
Anything for you
I’m a fool to think that I deserve you
I’m pretty foolish anyway
I’ve been planning to hold on to you
And so far things have, things have gone my way

since the last time we tried this.
But… regardless, it feels right? Ack. And then again, not so much.

I’m happy none the less. Today was awesome. And for the record, so was last night. He was madd hyper today though, so that made it even more interesting.