life be interestin’
Changeable.net
for the fickle at heart!
not-so-sloppy
I probably shouldn’t be this surprised at how easy it is to make sloppy joes.
NPR & Growin’ on up.
Something switched in me this week.
I’ve loved NPR for a long time, tuning in for the occasional human interest story and of course the eclectic music offerings. But man, this week every last thing on the airwaves was fascinating to me. Two nights ago, I listened to a Santa Monica City Council hearing, for goodness sake! Why? I have no idea. Stories of hot air balloon expeditions to the north pole, council meetings, political commentary, the State of the Union Speech (though this last one is not too strange) all filled my car and filled my mind.
All of this, amidst a fairly significant week in my career has me feeling pretty adult. Confirming flight and hotel accommodations for a conference, visiting a school board meeting in San Diego County, providing input on big decisions being made in Los Angeles… It’s all so surreal. I’m extremely thankful for people who invest in me, and so appreciative of the opportunity to learn about the broader picture of education.
However, this whole meta-cognition about how grown-up I feel instantly makes me feel quite young again.
Surprises & Fitness
Ways my mom surprised me today:
-”I want an iPhone.”
-”Do you know who this woman is?” [pointing to a photo of Sarah Jessica Parker gracing a magazine cover] “I asked the doctor if I could take this magazine, because I was reading about her and she reminded me of you.”
Workouts I’m excited to try:
-The Bar Method Long Beach
-Crossfit Long Beach
-Donations-only yoga studio
-Free yoga on the beach
Adios 24hour Fitness! If only you actually offered classes… you know… 24 hours a day. Or at least early/late enough to accommodate my work schedule. I’m will be paying a lot more money to work out very soon, but I’m excited to get in killer shape. Ha, and if I fail at that, I guess I’ll be saying hello again to 24.
And on that same solitary note…
An excerpt from today’s classic installment of My Utmost for His Highest:
“When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted desires, a broken friendship, or a new friendship— when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us.” -Oswald Chambers
A reflection written back in the 1920′s for this specific date, perfectly delivered one week after my return to solitude <3
Light and Shadows
The difference for those who believe is not the absence of the shadow but the presence of the Light.
The signs of a sick week: Your laundry consists of PJs and your trash consists of the scraps you used for communication.
What a blessing this weekend was! Forced into silence, I felt serene rather than taciturn. In comparison to just a few weeks ago, when I warred with myself over a few hours spent alone each day, I am proud to say that I appreciated my time.
I feel so accomplished. To put this in context, about a year and a half ago I became aware of a hesitancy I developed toward being in solitude. Whereas I previously loved my time alone, something switched internally and I then completely HATED to be left alone.
Back in April, there was even a particular day when I intentionally tried to take a day off to process things; it was one of the worst days of my life. When I was going through a hard time last Spring, I listened to well-intentioned friends who advised me to fill my time. And man, am I good at keeping busy, filling a schedule. The end of 2011 is a blur of busy, hectic exhaustion.
But this weekend… this weekend, 18 months after the realization that I hate to be alone, I fully appreciated the forced tranquility. Things were well with my soul, and folks… it’s been a good week since.
Yes, a good week due in part to my students being more consistently well-behaved I’ve seen them in months (thank you, Always Running). Yes, due in part to my voice making a hoarse return. Yes, due to being able to be with friends for the first time in a few days. Yes, due to excitement that 2 weeks into 2012, my budget is manageable and my goals seem realistic.
But there’s more to it.
I feel more balanced. I feel more joyful. Cooking a delicious dinner. Helping around the house. Walking and playing with Jay-Jay/Fernando/Dog whose name is TBD. Staying on top of work. Finding time to relax and reflect. Reading for fun. These moments of my day that I get to steal away from others and just be. Just sing (in my head, singing out loud is still a bit too much for my recovering vocal chords). Just pray. Just be thankful. Just be at peace.
I know these moments of consolation, where my soul is at rest, are temporary. Desolation will come. Maybe in a few weeks, maybe in a few days… maybe tomorrow, in a few hours. But I do hope I’ll remember this peaceful season of consolation and I do hope I’ll come back to it.
I cannot publicly post what I wanted to…
I cannot publicly post what I wanted to…
but let me say this:
Substitute teachers. They probably have the most thankless, ridiculous job in Watts. A good substitute teacher is hard to come by, and I am so thankful for the handful (literally 5 or fewer) good subs I’ve had.
But man. The stories about bad substitute teachers are kind of hilarious. From bringing guitars to school to (my students are not the Von Trapps, contrary to popular belief), to being at the door, purse in hand, ready to leave 10 minutes before the bell rings… I’ve got to laugh.
Ain’t life alright?
Perhaps I did not ring in the new year on quite the right note and hey, I may not have a voice right now (virus), but still–life is alright, isn’t it?
Exciting ‘business trips’ coming up for work–one to visit a small district in San Diego County and talk to them about what they’re doing to support teachers, and a high-profile convening in Arizona to discuss teacher effectiveness. I feel humbled and honored to be given these opportunities!
My new dog (name is still TBD) has brought me so much joy! I think that all of the time I used to spend being sad I now use to play with him and clean his pee up off of the floor. I think it’s safe to say that I get to keep him, so a name is certainly on the way! I’m taking him to the vet/humane society soon to get all taken care of, so once those bills are paid I’ll officially consider him mine. I love him love him love him. He’s so tiny and he has an equally tiny bed that he’ll drag around to be close to wherever I’m at. Washing dishes? He’ll be by the sink. Sitting down? He’ll bring it next to my chair. Also, he’s been spotted playing with spaghetti wrappers and a piece of corn husk tamale-wrapper–any dog who loves these two things is clearly in the right house.
I used a sick day yesterday to visit the doctor and nurse my voice, but still went in early to set things up for a sub. 8 o’clock came and went and my sub was running late, so I stayed with my kiddos, some who said (I kid you not) “noooooooo” when I whispered to them that I’d be out soon. I also got a strange amount of compliments on my appearance that day (beanie to hide my bed head, torn UCLA sweatshirt, leggings, and uggs… not to mention makeup left over from the day before). I must admit, I was hoping to be out before my students saw me because I felt like a BUM, so it was an unexpected ego-boost.
I’m so excited just thinking forward to the things coming up these next months, small and large. From movies I’m excited to see and books I’m hoping to read, to birthdays I’m excited to celebrate and Julie and Ryan’s wedding, to SNOW! Winter Camp (not that I actually know if I’m going) and Mammoth… and man… SPAIN! I have things to look forward to up through the beginning of April and that is fabulous.
2012 is brimming with promises of joy in the simple life as I spend time with friends, stick to my budget, save, and pay off my student loans.
Back in the saddle again.
Well, the things that you would imagine would be frustrating… were.
But it was also refreshing to be back enjoying my students and all their hilarity.
Most of them are trying really hard to be good and keep their beginning-of-the-semester “A’s,” so I really ought not be brought down by the few who have other plans in mind.
Also, it is sooooo nice to no longer have to plan a curriculum for an entire grade-level of teachers and instead get to teach a class with 10th graders who I had last year.
Looking forward to father’s office burgers with one group of ladies tonight, devotional classics and hot pot later in the week with another group of wonderful women, and a birthday celebration this weekend for another lovely lady.
Reality sets in.
Hi, 2012.
It seems it’s time to get back to reality.
Meaning: Time to go back to work. Time to STOP kidding myself about cheap thrills!
Time to let someone more powerful than me lead my life, lead me through the battles, and lead me toward green pastures.
Time to get super busy but still… seek out balance.
